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| TV's J.R. Ewing: would you really trust those eyebrows? |
What lens do you
use to look at people when it comes to deciding what kind of person they are? That
is, how do you decide who someone really is, especially when first meeting them?
It's true that groups of people seem to possess certain similar characteristics.
At least they do on the surface. Like most folks, I pride myself on being
fair-minded and slow to jump to conclusions regarding how someone appears to be
based on outward appearances. But sometimes I find myself unwittingly wearing
‘glasses’ that make me look at people in ways that ultimately leave me feeling
like Boo Boo the Fool.
One day a long while back, I
needed to store my belongings for a time at one of those storage rental places.
Helping me check in at the front desk was a pleasant elderly lady. She held a
warm smile and kindly demeanor. As we conducted business, I noticed the man at
the desk behind her. As I examined him, I made several grave assumptions. Like the
woman at the desk, he was elderly and I assumed he was the business owner. His
hair was gray and thinning. He also had bushy eyebrows that grew in a way that
gave him a rather sinister look. He was on the phone and judging from his clipped
tone, his snarly expression and those eyebrows,
I was certain he was not a pleasant person.
Around his desk space and on the
wall was golf memorabilia. There were photos of him with golf celebrities, golf
tees, golf balls, and other trappings that I presumed were souvenirs of country
club living. Those items, combined with my perception of him based on the way
his eyebrows were arched like the bad guys in movies, reinforced my initial
impression of him. I grew convinced he was prejudiced against black people. He
hadn’t uttered a word to me or even looked my way, but he didn’t have to. After
all, those menacing eyebrows… Of course, nothing could have been further from
the truth.
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| Okay, so maybe they weren't this bushy. But still... |
When he got off the phone, he muttered
to himself, “Dang pushy salesman.” Then he looked my way and did something I'll
never forget: he smiled. It was one of the most kindly expressions I've ever
received. He rose from behind the desk and, eyebrows and all, stepped to the
counter to introduce himself. Of course, I was stunned. As I listened to him
talk with me about how he and his wife managed the storage facility, I silently
struggled in my mind, trying to come to terms with who this man really was.
I worked to hide my embarrassment
as he shared with me what used to be one of his greatest passions: golf. After
a few minutes of his praising the sport and diminishing his own level of play,
he began proudly sharing how he used to volunteer at pro and semi-pro golf tournaments
that happened annually in the community.
Those eyebrows still were a major
distraction but I listened. Then his face grew dark. A-ha, I thought mentally; here
it comes. Of course, I was wrong again.
“They used to treat me like
dirt,” he said almost at a whisper. “The golfers acted like prima donnas and I
was less than nothing.” He fingered at the counter. “Here I was in awe of them
and all they could do was complain about the service they received.”
It’s easy to be fooled by
superficial things like skin color, manner of dress, the way a person speaks.
Or evil eyebrows. So next time you feel yourself judging someone based on
assumptions, stop.
awesome!
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